The Crankmonster

This is how I felt about day 7 ... I'm a big CRANKMONSTER.

Ladies, how do you deal with the ups and downs of hormones and still stay focused on your goals? To me, they are complete opposite ends of the spectrum tearing at one another. When drive is down, it's way down ... no exercise and no discipline with food. Whhaaaa ...

Day 5 and Day 6 - Making the decision to not make decisions ...

Caution: Moment of weakness ahead

I wish there were signs, in big red letters to let me know when something like this is about to happen. Don't you?

I woke up feeling so amazing on Saturday and continued my healthy streak through the day. I felt good and hung out with friends at night. Two glasses of wine led to late night eating. Wasn't too hard on myself.

Sunday morning, a planned day out with the girls. Breakfast went well, fruit, handful of almonds and coffee (Good start right? Especially since the other 3 ladies were eating homemade cinnamon crunch cake for their main course) The day goes on, the four of us head out for pedicures. I didn't plan ahead and become ravenous by the time we make it back to the house. Pretzels, almonds and homemade pizza (a lot of homemade pizza) I allowed zero conscious decision making. Then it continues through the night for dinner. A big snowball of nasty feelings and guilt.

What have I learned? While not making good decisions feels good in the moment, like a break from discipline, the effects feel worse and ultimately set me back.

How do you rebound from the guilt of bad decisions and straying from your goals?

Day 4 - Improvement

I wrote about each day getting better in making decisions. I felt amazing this morning when I woke up. I felt healthy. One of the best parts for me is that I wasn't anxiously counting calories or worried about my workouts for the last 4 days. Just staying focused on making conscious moment to moment decisions. Taking a step back, deep breath and asking myself the right questions in the moment.

Food:

More of the same. Importance of having food on me when I get hungry. I hadn't eaten much when I was prepping dinner. Usually a time where I might over indulge. I preplanned the first part of dinner to be 400 calories. I was still hungry so added another healthy 200. I'm a comfort eater, mostly at night. This can be a dangerous situation when I'm really really hungry. I'll eat fast and eat a lot without thinking. Planning made it all the more part of my current journey to make good decisions.


Exercise:

At the end of my work day I was close to 'just go home' 'you don't have to go to yoga' 'relaxing at home is what you really need'. Turns out a 90 minute Bikram Yoga class is EXACTLY what I needed. I worked my ass off, sweat my brains out and felt amazing last night and it's continued to this morning.

Day 3 - Integrity

Moment to moment integrity. It's so easy to fall back into the way I've been living and the choices I make without thinking. I need more sleep than the average person. I was told, at a very young age that sleep would be crucial for good health. I developed a very rare condition when I was young, due to exhaustion, that is a factor in my day to day health. Sleep is also part of the conscious choices I will be looking at.

Food:

I ate well. I've been starting my day with fruit which has been a great breakfast. There were a few opportunities, where I normally would've had a social drink and I stuck with water instead. At this rate I'm realizing where I'm easily cutting down on 1000-1500 calories a week. Had I not taken the time to document it in this way I may have continued as I was doing in the past. I can't have it all.

I knew I had a softball game at night and would come home late so I planned ahead with what I could have when I got home. I had multi-grain crackers and soy milk. Was filling and not too heavy.

Exercise:

My intention was to take a yoga class in the morning but sleep prevailed. I'm going to be playing in a recreational softball league going forward. Tonight was the first game. Was actually a good workout. My friend and I walked for a good 30 min, stretched out and the sprinting around the bases was a way to switch it up. I could feel the swinging of the bat in my back the next day (in a good way, using different muscles)

Day 2

Recognition. Recognizing patterns, habits. I had a successful day.

Exercise:

My goal is to establish my workouts to take place first thing in the morning. I met with my running partner in the am and put in a good 30 min run. When I got back to my place I popped in my yoga dvd and did some more strength and stretching.

Food:

Before diving right into food, I planned my lunch to be about 400 calories and stuck to the plan! I was satisfied and made a few snacks to take with me for the afternoon.

The unexpected came about. After class I met with friends for dinner at a Thai restaurant. I could have ordered the usual greasy rice or noodle dish (pad thai YUM!) but I ordered the vegetable noodle soup. So much healthier and so satisfying. I was craving sweets so before going to the show (with said friends) I stopped at the drugstore and got a sucker. Normally on an evening out I would have a few drinks and I stayed with water. It's interesting to break out of routine.

Habits:

I was chatting with a girlfriend today about her diet. She's in amazing shape and in her mid-20's. I asked her if she needs to watch what she eats. She said she definitely does. The one habit she has worked hard to develop is not eating after 7pm most nights. This is one thing to be conscious of moving forward.

Do you remember making a conscious decision to change a habit that has improved the quality of your life?

Weight of sleep

I've become more conscious of my sleep patterns and how they affect everything else. How many hours I get, how many I should and at what point my body is getting just the right amount. Not too much, not too little.

Do you consciously make decisions on your sleep patterns? What are the things you give up so that you can get your beauty rest?

Day 1 of making conscious decisons at 30 years old

Day 1 of conscious decision making:

It was very eye opening to spend the entire day making conscious decisions. For so long, I’ve thought that every decision I was making was conscious, turns out that just isn’t so. More often I find myself making decisions based on habits I’ve formed, especially around food and exercise.
While I have a notebook I’m using to document my decisions, I won’t bore you with all the details … maybe just a few with a few points on each. I’ll focus on decisions I made and how they made me feel.

Exercise:
I was able to squeeze in 30 minutes of my yoga dvd before work. Before the workout my self talk was ‘I don’t have time’, ‘I’ll start tomorrow’. Ultimately, I knew I would feel better for making an effort in moving my body for a bit.

Food:
Did really well the first part of the day, made solid decisions and felt good. We were working on a late night project at work and my company bought us pizza. This was a moment for me. I enjoy living life. I enjoy social camaraderie around food and drinks. It felt good to choose to have 1 piece of pizza (they were big slices folks, large Chicago style pieces) and be done (where I normally would have had 2 or 3 without thinking). Now, here is where the learning comes into play. 2 ½ hours later, when the project was done I was still hungry and we found ourselves, once again, gathered around the cold pizza. Instead of one of the healthy snacks I had in the fridge (yogurt) I had another piece and wasn’t satisfied at all. Gross.
Satisfaction. In the moment I’ll be asking myself what will make me feel satisfied and what are my options. While I did choose the 2nd piece, It wasn’t what would make me satisfied, and I knew it.

Then … ohh yes … more indulgence … we went out for a cocktail. Could I have had water? Yes. But, I had a vodka soda instead. I’m a beer girl … but for the sake of calories and overall drink vs. diet I went with the vodka soda. Once in a while I’ll have water, ice tea, etc. and some days I’ll be having a drink. That’s the way it’s gonna be.